目标7分的作文一篇,几日学习后的成果,跟大家分享,也希望有烤鸭同路人点评一番,让我有个能力定位

发表于:2013-09-13 05:36 [只看楼主] [划词开启]

几日学习后,看了一篇剑桥雅思的满分范文,尝试参考考官的逻辑结构和素材自己写了一篇。虽然有些磕磕绊绊,并且好像比较接近考试的要求,但心里并不确定。因此拿来晒一晒,希望有大牛出来给些许评判,帮我诊断一番能得几分。如果能帮助修改一番就更加感激不尽了。同时,也和其他考友探讨探讨功能进步。谢谢!

题目是经典的论述类,学生在上大学前是否应该先工作或游历一番。



Nowadays, it is has been a popular topic of discussion that a student should take some time off finding a job or travelling to some places before they go to university. This trend is not only restricted to wealth students who have financial support from parents and are able to visit various countries to undergo different cultures, but is also evident amongst the relative poor students who tend to work for a period of time so that they earn a living and become economically independent.

The reason for this trend may involve people’s recognition that the whole human society becomes increasingly enlightened and progressive, thereby never seeing the successive education as a prerequisite for cultivating adolescents. Conversely, parents and educationalist believe that the youths who have the opportunities to work or travel for a period of time, might possess more profound understanding on this world. As a result, compared with the students who directly step into the university campus after graduating from the high school, they seem to have clearer perspective that what, why and how to acquire the knowledge more effectively.

However, there are also certainly hazards existing that the students taking time off may not be willing to return to the campus, since they think it is better to continue in such a particular job, which is capable of fulfilling their dreams, or it is too difficult for them to readapt to the academic environment. Despite of that, it is less likely to happen today, because academic qualifications are of paramount importance for people to gain a reasonable career, and even more graduates intend to own a second degree, e.g. Master etc.

Thus, my view is that young people ought to be motivated to work or travel before they initiate study life in university. And the authentic issue that should be further discussed is how to create certain positive circumstance for them, instead of adverse effects.


以上!谢谢!


最后编辑于:2013-09-13 05:47
分类: 考研英语

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