题目：剑8 Test 1 小作文
The pie chart illustrates the primary reasons of farmland 1becomes less productive, while the table 2chart compares how these reasons influenced North America, Europe and Oceania during the 1990s.
We can see from the pie chart, 3there are four reasons 4cause worldwide farmland degradation. Over-grazing, deforestation and over-cultivation accounted 5quite similar percentages, at 35%, 30% and 28% respectively. However, other reasons only make up 7% of the total.
Different regions show different proportions of reasons 6in land degradation in7table 8chart. 9.8% of 9the land degradation in Europe10,due to 11the deforestation, which is much more higher than Oceania and North America, both at 1.7% and 0.2% only. Europe also 12shown the highest percentage in over-cultivation 13(7.7%14), but agricultural land degradation in Oceania 15represent 0%, in other words, not suffered by over-cultivation 16totally. However, over-grazing is the main reason of degradation in Oceania which represents 11.3%, followed by Europe and North America, at 5.5% and 1.5%.
Overall, Europe land degradation is shown to be the most serious 17one compared with 18other two regions 19and it is mainly caused by deforestation and over-cultivation.
1：批改解释：Verb tense. 修改建议：becoming.
4: 批改解释：Verb tense error. 修改建议：causing.
12: 批改解释：Verb tense error. 修改建议：showed.
15: 批改解释：Verb tense . 修改建议：represented.
2: 批改解释：Not needed. 修改建议：Omit.
8: 批改解释：Not needed. 修改建议：Omit.
17: 批改解释：Not needed. 修改建议：Omit.
3: 批改解释：Missing word. 修改建议：that.
5: 批改解释：Preposition needed. 修改建议：For.
6: 批改解释：Poor choice of preposition. 修改建议：of.
7: 批改解释：Article needed. 修改建议：the.
9: 批改解释：Not needed. 修改建议：Omit.
11: 批改解释：Not needed. 修改建议：Delete.
18: 批改解释：Article needed. 修改建议：the.
10: 批改解释：Not needed. 修改建议：Omit. Use “was”.
13: 批改解释：Do not write in parenthesis. 修改建议：Remove the brackets.
14: 批改解释：Not needed. 修改建议：Remove.
19: 批改解释：A comma is needed. 修改建议：,
16: 批改解释：Poor diction. 修改建议：at all.
任务完成情况 Development and Details
Covers all requirements of the task.
文章组织和结构 Organization & Structure
Sequencing of information and ideas logically, sufficient and appropriate paragraphing.
论点扩展和细节运用 Development & Details
Clearly identifies all principle features and makes comparisons where needed.
词汇运用 Lexical resources
Uses a range of vocabulary fluently and flexibly to convey precise meanings.
Command of the elements of Standard Written English, including grammar, and sentence structure.
整体评分 Holistic Assessment
Effectively identify, analyze, and evaluate the facts, and conveyed clearly in a fluent manner.
Your summary is well developed save for the grammar errors that ought to be addressed. The introduction to the summary is well developed. It gives a good brief of the data in the chart and table. The analysis that you have presented in the main body is logically well structured. There is good comparison of the data given. It is commendable that you started with the distinct features of the chart and table. The conclusion is well developed too. There is need to be coherent by avoiding these grammar errors. Most important is that in a formal essay like this, do not write in parenthesis. It is better to write everything in open sentences. There are some poor diction and verb tense errors too. Most of the errors in your essay are simple errors that could have been rectified had you carefully read through the essay. The logical and general structures are standard. Use some more vocabulary where possible.