【写作范文】雅思考官之满分范文详细解析

贾莲莲 (回忆曾经′寂如流年°) 路人甲
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发表于:2014-01-29 18:21 [只看楼主] [划词开启]

雅思考官眼中满分的作文应该是啥子样子呢?什么样的作文才能得高分呢?让我们来从下面的范文中寻找一些蛛丝马迹吧~~~ 童鞋们以后写作文的时候也可以按照这种满分范文的模式来写哦~~

范文如下:

                                

                                      

  As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job
satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing.


  What factors contribute to job satisfaction?


  How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?


  Nowadays many adults have full-time jobs and the proportion of their lives
spent doing such jobs is very high. So feelings about one’s job must reflect how
an individual feels about his or her life as a whole, and because of this, job
satisfaction is indeed very important for the wellbeing of that person.


  Employees get job satisfaction in a number of ways. Firstly, a person needs
to feel that they are doing valued and valuable work, so positive feedback from
superiors is very important in this respect. A sense of fulfillment is also
encouraged if a worker feels the job is worth doing because it contributes to
the society or the economy as a whole. Secondly, when someone feels they are
improving or developing their skills through training opportunities, for
example, then there is a sense of progression and purpose that rewards a worker.
The sense of belonging to a team or a working community also contributes to job
satisfaction because colleagues help each other to enjoy their working lives.
Satisfaction is also increased by a sense of responsibility for and loyalty to a
team.


  Of course not everyone enjoys their work. Hard economic realities mean that
many people have little choice in the kind of job they can get. In some cases an
employee is working in a job that suits neither their skills nor their
personality. Some jobs are repetitive and boring, and labour relations may be
poor and lead to resentment and insecurity rather than to job satisfaction.


  However, even though it is unlikely that all workers do feel happy in their
work, I think it is not unrealistic to promote more job satisfaction in any job.
If the factors identified above are implemented, then any job can be improved
and more workers can feel greater degrees of job satisfaction.

范文分析:


     第一段复述了文章的主题(job
satisfaction)

     第二段回答了第一个问题(What factors
contribute to job satisfaction?)

     第三段回答了第二个问题(How realistic is
the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?)

    第四段是第3rd段的补充


  第一段主题句So feelings about one’s job must reflect how an individual feels
about his or her life as a whole, and because of this, job satisfaction is
indeed very important for the wellbeing of that person.

   第二段主题句Employees get job satisfaction in a number of ways.

  第三段主题句Of course not everyone enjoys their work.

  第四段主题句However, even though it is unlikely that all workers do feel happy in
their work, I think it is not unrealistic to promote more job satisfaction in
any job.


  结构一般说来,在段落之间,没有特别的连接词,暗指后面一段在支持前面一段的主题句。

  段落之间的关联词:

  在3rd的段首,考官使用Of course, 表示切换话题。这个词可以理解为“然而”。

  在4th 段首,考官使用了However, 展示本段是上一段的转折,即论证的补充。这个词组可以理解为“尽管如此”

  一般说来,在一个段落内的句子之间,没有特别的连接词,暗指后面一句在支持主题句。

  段落中的路标词:在1st 段中,考官使用了So来突出主题句。这个词可以理解为“总之”。

  语法这篇考官范文在句式上最经典之处就是充分利用了英文的“状语从句”,几乎所有的状语从句在这篇文章中都很好地体现出来了。


  全文使用的长难句型如下:

  If…, then…(条件状语)

  because(原因状语)

  … if … because ….(条件状语+ 原因状语)

  When…,then…(时间状语)

  …, so… (结果状语)

  Even though…, …(让步状语)

  I think it is not unrealistic to…(我觉得这件事并非不真实……双重否定表示肯定)

  …, and… (并列句)

  neither…nor… (否定并列句)


  词汇必备词汇:(掌握核心动词)注明:()里的数字代表这个词在文章中出现的次数,因此在文章中使用同一个词,只要把握好度,并不会带来太大的影响。其他没有标注()的词在原文中只出现过一次。

  这次feel这个单词创纪录地使用了5次,另一个improve也使用了2次。这再一次告诉我们,考官也偶尔会用重复的词,只是数量不要太多了。

  Feel (5), improve(2), spend doing, reflect, contribute
to(这个在之前的范文中,考官使用的是make contribution to), belong to, reward, help, increase,
identify, implement, enjoy, mean, suit, lead to

  亮点词汇:

  A sense of fulfillment充实感, a sense of progression进步感, a sense of
responsibility and loyalty责任感和忠诚感, valued and valuable本身很有价值和能够创造价值的,
positive积极的, repetitive重复的, resentment不满, insecurity不安全感, superior上级、高手。



 

 

 

 

来源:雅思

分类: 考研英语
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