超级有意思的英文句子,好欢乐,好开森!

发表于:2014-07-17 14:43 [只看楼主] [划词开启]

1. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

一开始我求上帝赐我辆自行车,后来我琢磨上帝办事儿不是这个路数,于是我偷了一辆然后求上帝宽恕。


2. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

你永远不能战胜一个纯SB,因为他会把你的智商拉到跟他一个水平,然后用丰富的SB经验打败你。


3. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.

我真不想伤害你,但你也别逼我。


4. Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

政客和纸尿布有一个共同点就是:他们都很有规律地被替换,而且因为同一个理由——屁股脏了!


5. Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.

女人的高潮可能是装出来的,但是男人的整段感情都可能是装出来的!


6. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

光总是比声音跑的快点,这就是为什么有些SB只有在开口说话之后你才发现他在装B。


7. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

我曾以为我想要的是事业,结果发现我只是想要工资。


8. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

所谓知识就是知道韩少和小四都属于80后,但智慧告诉你这终还是男女有别!


9. Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

孩子就是:你先花2年时间,教他们走路和说话。接下来16年你就不停地让他们坐定和闭嘴。


10. God must love stupid people. He made SO many.

上帝一定倍儿爱SB,不然他造这么多?!

分类: 杂货铺

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