等待狸猫 (狸猫) 译人小成
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发表于:2014-04-14 15:47 [只看楼主] [划词开启]





【这篇因为中间不太好断开所以比较长哈~不过内容很搞笑 看得很爽哦!】




Every New Year's Eve I resolve to do something about the Milquetoast in me and vow to speak up, calmly, for my rights, and for the betterment of our society, on every appropriate occasion. Entering last New Year's Eve I was fortified in my resolve because that morning at breakfast I had had to ask the Waitress three times for a glass of milk. She finally brought it -- after I had finished my eggs, which is when I don't want it any more. I did not have the manliness to order her to take the milk back, but settled instead for a cowardly sulk, and ostentatiously refused to drink the milk -- though I later paid for it -- rather than state plainly to the hostess, as I should have, why I had not drunk it, and would not pay for it.


So by the time the New Year ushered out the Old, riding in on my morning's indignation and stimulated by the gastric juices of resolution that flow so faithfully on New Year's Eve, I rendered my vow. Henceforward I would conquer my shyness, my despicable disposition to supineness. I would speak out like a man against the unnecessary annoyances of our time.


Forty-eight hours later, I was standing in line at the ski repair store in Pico Peak, Vermont. All I needed, to get on with my skiing, was the loan, for one minute, of a small screwdriver, to tighten a loose binding. Behind the counter in the workshop were two men. One was industriously engaged in servicing the complicated requirements of a young lady at the head of the line, and obviously he would be tied up for quite a while. The other -- "Jiggs," his workmate called him -- was a middle-aged man, who sat in a chair puffing a pipe, exchanging small talk with his working partner. My pulse began its telltale acceleration. The minutes ticked on. I stared at the idle shopkeeper, hoping to shame him into action, but he was impervious to my telepathic reproof and continued his small talk with his friend, brazenly insensitive to the nervous demands of six good men who were raring to ski.

48小时后,我站在佛蒙特州Pico Peak滑雪场的雪橇修理站前的队伍中。想要继续滑雪,我只需要有人能借给我一分钟一个小螺丝刀,让我好把一处松了的螺丝上紧。修理店的柜台后有两个男人。一个正十分敬业地忙于满足队伍前列一个年轻女士的繁琐要求,很显然,他还得忙很久。另一个呢,那个“Jiggs”,他的同事是这么叫他的。他是个中年男人,坐在椅子上吸着一斗烟,和他的同事闲聊着。我的脉搏开始加速,泄露了我的情绪,开始了爆发前的倒数。我盯着那个无所事事的店主,希望他能因此而感到羞愧并付诸行动,然而他却对我的指责毫无感应、无动于衷,继续和他的朋友闲聊着,厚颜无耻地忽略了急切渴望滑雪的六个好小伙。

Suddenly my New Year's Eve resolution struck me. It was now or never. I broke from my place in line and marched to the counter. I was going to control myself. I dug my nails into my palms. My effort was only partially successful.


"If you are not too busy," I said icily, "would you mind handing me a screwdriver?"


Work stopped and everyone turned his eyes on me, and I experienced that mortification I always feel when I am the center of centripetal shafts of curiosity, resentment, perplexity.


But the worst was yet to come. "I am sorry, sir," said Jiggs deferentially, moving the pipe from his mouth. "I am not supposed to move. I have just had a heart attack." That was the signal for a great whirring noise that descended from heaven. We looked, stricken, out the window, and it appeared as though a cyclone had suddenly focused on the snowy courtyard between the shop and the ski lift. Suddenly a gigantic army helicopter materialized, and hovered down to a landing. Two men jumped out of the plane carrying a stretcher tore into the ski shop, and lifted the shopkeeper onto the stretcher. Jiggs bade his companion goodbye, was whisked out the door, into the plane, up to the heavens, down -- we learned -- to a near-by army hospital. I looked up manfully -- into a score of man-eating eyes. I put the experience down as a reversal.






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分类: 英语
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