2014.06.16【英译中】我学会了永远不去寻求帮助 (2)

Janice1228 (nawa1228) 路人甲
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发表于:2014-06-17 16:25 [只看楼主] [划词开启]
That sound, that everlasting snap haunts me, but it’s not the worst part. The worst part was that first moment after my body hit the ice and before the shock set in: the realizations that I’d just lost the independence that armored me against the world and made me feel strong. And if I wasn’t strong, I needed other people. And if I needed other people, I was nothing — just a scaffold, weakened and stripped by a gale-force wind, ready to splinter with the slightest breeze.
骨头断裂的那个声音,那永不消去的咔嚓声一直萦绕着我,但这还不是最糟糕的部分。最糟糕的是,还没来得及惊讶,摔倒在冰上的那一刻就已经让我意识到:我失去了抵御这世界,失去了曾让我自觉强大的独立自主的能力。如果我不够坚强,我就需要其他人的帮助。如果我需要他人的帮助,那我便微不足道——我只是一个支架,一个被强风削弱并卸下装备的支架,微风轻轻一吹便会支离破碎。

Strong became synonymous with impenetrable when I was still losing my baby teeth. My father prized a kind of can-do stoicism straight out of Clint Eastwood’s greatest hits. There were no tears, only whiskey. No room for fear, for any feeling, really, other than an obliterating anger. He taught me, through his absences — nights passed out on the sofa; weeks when the slightest infraction (a spilled water glass, a yawn that offended him with its timing) provoked an arctic withdrawal, where he wouldn’t so much as look at me — that needing anyone, for anything, was like being a trapeze artist who, mid-leap, reaches out toward an empty swing. He taught me, through his attention — eruptions of fists and hushed apologies — that love, like pain, was something to be endured. And crying always makes it worse.
当我的牙齿也掉了的时候,坚强变成令人费解的同义词(不知道怎么翻译才合适~)(还在我换牙的时候,“强壮”就已经变成了“坚不可摧”的同义词)。我的父亲崇尚克林特•伊斯特伍德畅销作品里面弘扬的乐观进取的坚韧精神。没有眼泪,只有威士忌。没有恐惧,没有任何感觉,只有一腔被压制的愤怒。他通过他的缺席——晚上昏睡在沙发上教我学会了这些;只要我犯一点点错都会激怒他(比如溢出水的玻璃杯,不合时宜的哈欠),他几乎看都不会看我一眼——那种我对他的需要,就像是高空秋千表演着正跃向一架空的秋千。他通过他给予我的注意力——火山一样爆发的拳脚相加以及沉默的歉意——那种爱就像是痛苦一样,需要去忍耐。而且,眼泪只会让这一切更糟。

My mother lived inside the orbit of her own dependence. She needed him to carry her up every level of Maslow’s hierarchy: to pay the bills, to keep her fed and housed; to be that handsome man with the leather briefcase, to make her the envy of her friends. I saw her helplessness as an unpardonable sin, so self-reliance became my defining virtue.

我的母亲有她自己的生活轨道。她人生的每一个有需求的阶段都需要我父亲出席:付账单,供她吃住;充当那个手拿公文包的帅气男人,让她成为朋友们羡慕的对象。我曾见她像是犯下了不可饶恕的罪过一般无助的时刻,于是自力更生便成了我性格中最典型的品德。


往期链接:

2014.06.10【英译中】做回真正的自己——激情的力量(1)

2014.06.10【英译中】做回真正的自己——激情的力量(2)

2014.06.10【英译中】做回真正的自己——激情的力量(3)

2014.06.12【英译中】美国人在性方面的八大误区 (1)

2014.06.16【英译中】我学会了永远不去寻求帮助 (1)


最后编辑于:2014-06-18 11:12
分类: 英语
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