2014.06.23【英译中】我学会了永远不去寻求帮助 (5)

Janice1228 (nawa1228) 路人甲
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发表于:2014-06-23 17:27 [只看楼主] [划词开启]
Bearing the weight of that armor required a constant vigilance. Suddenly free of its heft, its heat, I had nothing to do but focus my energies on healing, and healing meant feeling, and not just anger. I grieved the woman who ended relationships before they began, because she didn’t want to “get in the habit” of trusting a man to care for her, let alone asking him for anything. I grieved the teenage girl who cleaned her friends’ mothers’ kitchens as thank you for allowing another school night sleepover. I grieved the little girl who’d learned that nobody would ever help her when she got hit. I stood (as best I could) on my sprained ankle, head bent in the kitchen sink to wash my hair, and I wept — not just from the pain itself, but from the gnashing fear that I would never get better, would never stop hurting.
我要不断提高警惕才能承受这盔甲的重量。突然之间没有盔甲的约束,感受不到它的重量和温度,让我无所适从,只能把注意力放在治疗上,专心在治疗上就意味着会拥有感受,而不仅仅是体会到愤怒。我替那个女人感到悲伤,她的感情还没开始便已结束,因为她不习惯去相信一个男人会照顾自己,更不必说向他提出任何要求。我替那个十几岁的姑娘感到悲伤,她替朋友的妈妈打扫她们家的厨房,是为感谢她又让自己借宿一晚。我替那个小姑娘感到悲伤,她从小就知道当自己挨打的时候没人会帮忙。我撑着扭伤的脚踝吃力地站起来,一边在厨房的水池子里弯腰洗头发,一边流眼泪——不是因为脚踝痛,而是因为这痛彻心扉的恐惧,好像我永远都不会好起来,永远都会受伤害。

The cast would come off at the end of those six weeks, and the mottled, swollen flesh of my sprained ankle would fade along the usual kaleidoscope of a bruise. Walking back into my old life would not be as simple as putting one foot in front of the other. Both ankles were weak, my doctor said, and if I didn’t take it easy and ask for help, I’d “increase the odds for reinjury.” Those five words weren’t just the hammer strikes sealing the coffin closed; they were the thuds of dirt tossed on the lid. I would need outpatient physical therapy three times a week for several months.
六周左右石膏就要拆下来了,扭伤的脚踝上面有斑且肿胀的肉颜色也渐渐正常,不再是刚扭伤之后呈现的五颜六色。回归到原本的生活不像把一只脚放在另一只脚前面走路那么简单。我的医生告诉我两个脚踝都很虚弱,如果我不小心,不找别人帮忙,很有可能会“旧伤复发”。这四个字不是敲击棺材封盖的锤子,听来更像是泥土抛洒在棺材盖上的声音。我可能需要去门诊上做几个月的物理治疗,一周三次。

I wobble on balance boards and grit my teeth at the sickly snap, crackle, pop of joints massaged and manipulated for greater range-of-motion, but I’m not strong enough to keep my hold on the leash once my dog saw a rabbit, or to cart in bags of groceries (let alone laundry) while mounting the stairs to my apartment. On doctor’s orders, I ask my friend’s son-in-law to install a handicap bar in my shower: a cold reminder that I can’t stand up without leaning on something far sturdier than I am.

我可以摇摇晃晃站在平衡板上,为了能够更大范围活动也可以咬紧牙关忍受按摩关节时发出的劈啪声,可是当我的狗跑去追逐野兔我还没有强壮到拽住缰绳不放,也没有强壮到扛一包食品上楼(更别说洗衣服了)。我遵照医嘱,拜托朋友的女婿在我的淋浴室里安装了浴缸扶手:这个冰冷的家伙时刻提醒我不依靠一个更坚固的东西我没有办法自己站起来。


往期链接:

2014.06.10【英译中】做回真正的自己——激情的力量(1)

2014.06.10【英译中】做回真正的自己——激情的力量(2)

2014.06.10【英译中】做回真正的自己——激情的力量(3)

2014.06.12【英译中】美国人在性方面的八大误区 (1)

2014.06.16【英译中】我学会了永远不去寻求帮助 (1)

2014.06.16【英译中】我学会了永远不去寻求帮助 (2)

2014.06.20【英译中】我学会了永远不去寻求帮助 (4)
最后编辑于:2014-06-23 17:31
分类: 英语
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