2014.06.25【英译中】时光只管一路向前(二)28句

Daisy夭药 (番茄) 路人甲
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发表于:2014-06-25 19:22 [只看楼主] [划词开启]

I kept the same close friends, a core group of five people, all through middle school and into high school. We called each other’s parents Mom and Dad, spoke entirely in inside jokes , and were even writing a series of novels together. After our years of shared memories, I was sure we’d be best friends forever.

我的整个中学生涯(包括初中和高中)的好友一直都是那几个—一个五人核心团队。我们互相喊各自的父母为爸爸妈妈,说着只有我们才知道的内部笑话,甚至一起写一系列的小说。在我们共同度过的那些岁月里,我坚信我们永远都会是最好的朋友。

But during sophomore year, one of the girls in our group suddenly backstabbed another without provocation. And just like that, our tight-knit group unraveled. I had no desire to keep the backstabber in my life, but I missed the happiness of our former group, and I mourned the loss of the friend she used to be.

但是在大二的时候,我们当中的一个女孩突然无缘无故地陷害了团队中的另一个人。就像那样,我们亲密的团队解散了。我当然一点也不想我的生活中一直有一个会在背后捅刀子的小人,但是我怀念从前团队里的快乐,也为失去朋友—曾经的她—而感到哀伤。

Now there was tension and bad feelings even when she wasn’t around, and we all knew that the five of us would never willingly be in the same room together again.

现在就算她不在周围,曾经的团队里也充满紧张和反感的情绪。我们都知道,我们五个人再也不可能一起呆在同一个房间里了。

My life had been incredibly stable up until this point, which could possibly help explain my neurosis about change. I’d never experienced real loss, trauma, or drama, and so I’d grown to see any change to the status quo as a threat.

 直到这之前,我的生活几乎是难以置信的稳定,这也很好的解释了我害怕变化的神经衰弱症。我从未经历过真正的失去,心灵创伤或者戏剧性的事件,所以我渐渐把任何对于现状的改变视为威胁。

But now I had a taste of the truth, and it terrified me. If my longest, closest friendships could be broken, then nothing was safe. There was nothing I could count on.

但是现在我了解了真相,而且我被吓到了。如果我最长久的,最亲密的友谊都能被破坏,那还有什么东西是安全的。再没有什么东西能够让我依靠了。

But this experience is how I learnt that basically, everyone suffers, and the reason for that is that we’re too attached to things, people, outcomes , ideas. I got sad when my friend group splintered because I was attached to my friends. I don’t like change because I’m attached to my routines.

但是这段经历让我明白了每个人都遭受着痛苦,因为我们太过于重视事,人,结果还有想法。当我的朋友圈分崩离析时我感到悲伤是因为我重视我的朋友们。我不喜欢改变是因为我重视我的日常安排。

One concept that really jumped out at me was the idea of impermanence . It’s basically like that saying “this too shall pass”: Usually you hear it when you’re going through a rough time—you’re upset over a breakup or a difficult class or an illness, and your grandmother sends you some beautiful card telling you to cheer up, this will pass. And that’s a good thought. The bad things will pass.

真正吸引我的是一种无常的概念,就像俗话说的那样“这也会过去的”:当你处境艰难的时候,常常会有人这么和你说。当你正在为一次分手而心烦,为一门难懂的课程而烦躁,或者为疾病所困扰的时候,你的祖母会寄给你一些漂亮的卡片来鼓励你振作起来,这会过去的。那是一个很棒的想法。不好的事情都会过去的。

But here’s the catch: So will the good things. This is why you’re supposed to let go of your attachments. Because your pain over your breakup will pass, but so will that exciting new-love feeling when you start a new relationship. I was attached to my routine, my day-to-day existence of friends, classes, and family, but that comfortable existence was going to pass, and my not accepting that was responsible for a large portion of my anxiety.

但是这里有一个问题:好的事情同样会过去的。这正是为什么希望你放开你的那些依赖。因为就像分手的痛苦总会过去那样,当开始一段新的恋情时那种令人激动的再次爱上的感觉也会过去。我重视我的日常生活,以及日常生活中存在的朋友,班级还有家庭,但是那种舒适的存在也会失去,而我不接受的大部分原因源自于我的焦虑与渴望。

If I wanted to become comfortable with change, I had to learn to live in the moment. I had to accept that life was good right now, but that it was not permanent. When you learn to accept ahead of time that an end will come, the end is less painful.

如果我想要适应改变,那我不得不学会活在当下。我不得不接受现在的生活很美好,但是却不是永久的。当你学会提前接受既定的结局,那么最后也不会那么痛苦。

Now, I still cling to routine. But these days I’m better at rolling with change. When my college roommate/best friend left to spend her last semester on an out-of-state internship, while I mourned the end of our life together, I also found myself kind of excited about the new experience of living alone. It turns out it’s kind of lonely. But this too shall pass.

现在我依然坚持按时作息。但是这些天来,我更加适应改变了。当我的大学室友/最好的朋友决定最后一个学期在其他州的实习生活中度过的时候,我为我们最后在一起的时光哀悼,同时我也发现自己对于要开始独自生活而有些激动。原来这也是一种孤独。但是这也会过去的。

往期链接:
2014.06.07【英译中】【散文欣赏】时光只管一路向前(1)17句

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