20140805【英译中】幸福其实很简单 2(899)

汪德均 (老顽童) 译坛新宠
91 5 0
发表于:2014-08-05 09:15 [只看楼主] [划词开启]

    Images of Perfection. Almost all of us have images of how life should be.The problem,of course,is that only rarely do people’s jobs,spouses and children live up to these imagined ideals.Here’s a personal example:no one in my family had ever divorced.I assumed that marriage was for life.So when my  wife and I divorced after five years of marriage and three years after the birth of our son,my world collapsed.I was a failure in my own eyes.I later remarried and confided to my wife that I couldn’t shake the feeling that my family life had failed.She asked me what was wrong with our family now(which included her daughter from a previous marriage and my son).I had to admit that,aside from the pain of being with my son only half the time (my ex-wife and I shared custody),our family life was wonderful.“Then why don’t you celebrate it?”she asked.That’s what I  decided to do.But first I had to get rid of a “perfect” family.

  2.幻想完美。差不多人人都想象生活应该是完美的。当然啦,问题在于,没几个人在工作、配偶、孩子等方面达到其理想标准。说一个实际的例子。以前,我的家里从没有离过婚的。我也想当然地认为,我的婚姻也会终生不变。因此,婚后五年,当时儿子也已经出生三年以后,前妻与我离婚时,我简直觉得天都塌了。后来,再婚以后,有一次,我对妻子说,我总是摆不脱“家庭失败”的阴影。她就问我,我们现在的家庭到底还有什么问题(包括她以前的婚姻带来的女儿和我的儿子)。我承认,除了和儿子相处的时间只有一半以外(前妻与我平分监护权),我们现在的家庭生活好得没法说。“那么,为什么不庆祝一下呢?”她问道。而这正是我想要做的。但是首先,我必须去除家庭生活需“完美无缺”这个幻想。

  “Missing Tile” Syndrome.  One effective way of destroying happiness is to look at something and focus on even the smallest flaw.It’s like looking at the tiled ceiling and concentrating on the space where one tile is missing.As a bald man told me ,“whenever I enter a room,all I see is hair.”Once you’ve determined what your missing tile is,explore whether acquiring it will really make you happy.Then do one of the three things:get it,replace it with a different tile,or forget about it and focus on the tiles in your life that are not missing.

  3.“缺瓦”综合征。毁灭幸福最有效的方式之一莫过于总在寻找某样东西,甚至关注最小的缺陷。这就像常常看着屋顶,老想着要找出哪里缺了一块瓦片的情形。一位秃顶男子对我说:“每当我走进一间屋子,眼里见到的全是头发。”这样的人一旦确定失去的瓦片是什么,就应该琢磨琢磨,找到这块瓦片是否真的能让他快乐。若如此,请做下列三件事之一:找到那片瓦;用另外的瓦替换之;忘掉此事,关注人生中已经拥有的瓦片。

  We all know people who have had a relatively easy life yet are essentially unhappy.And we know people who have suffered a great deal but generally remain happy.The first secret is gratitude.All happy people are grateful.Ungrateful people cannot be happy.We tend to think that being unhappy leads people to complain,but it’s truer to say that complaining leads to people becoming unhappy.

     The second secret is realizing that happiness is a byproduct of something else.The most obvious sources are those pursuits that give our lives purpose--anything from studying insects to playing baseball.The more passions we have,the more happiness we are likely to experience.Finally,the belief that something permanent transcends us and that our existence has some larger meaning can help us be happier.We need a spiritual faith,or a philosophy of life.Whatever your philosophy,it should include this truism:if you choose to find the positive in virtually every situation,you will be blessed,and if you choose to find the awful ,you will be cursed.As with happiness itself,this is largely your decision to make.

   我们都认识一些人,他们的生活相对容易但骨子里并不幸福。我们也认识另一些人,他们历经磨难但总体上看还算幸福。其秘诀之一在于感恩心理。所有幸福者都是心存感恩之人。不懂得感恩者不可能幸福。我们常常以为,不幸福导致抱怨;其实,正是抱怨才导致了不幸福。

  秘诀之二是,必须意识到幸福只是一种副产品。幸福最明显的来源是对于人生目标的追求——从昆虫研究到棒球运动,任何追求都行。激情越多,能体验到的幸福就越多。最后,超越自我的某种永恒的信仰和人生的更大意义有助于获得更大的幸福。我们需要一种精神信仰或人生哲学。无论何种人生哲学,都应该包含这个不言自明的真理:如果选择寻找正能量,就会收获祝福;如果相反,收获的就是诅咒。至于幸福本身,则主要掌握在你自己手里。

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