20140712【译艺探索】疑难词句的处理

汪德均 (老顽童) 译坛新宠
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发表于:2014-07-12 14:28 [只看楼主] [划词开启]

       《思考与比较》陶乐熙翻译札记之七

七  一些疑难词句的处理

这里的“疑难词句”是笔者觉得看似平常却要花一点儿功夫才能准确传达原意的地方。

1、(第一章)

It was very dark, and the wind howled horribly around her, but Dorothy found she was riding quite easily. After the first few whirls around, and one other time when the house tipped badly, she felt as if she were  being rocked gently, like a baby in a cradle.

 Toto did not like it. He ran about the room, now here, now there,  barking loudly; but Dorothy sat quite still on the floor and waited to see what would happen.

周围昏天黑地,狂风可怕地嚎叫着;陶乐熙却发现自己安安稳稳地坐在地板上乘风而行。

最初,房子打了几个旋,有一次还倾斜得非常厉害;这以后啊,她觉得自己就像是摇篮中的婴儿,被轻轻地摇动着。

 托托可不高兴了:他在屋里乱跑,一会儿这边,一会儿那边,还大声地叫个不停;而陶乐熙却相当安静地坐在地板上;她倒要看看,接下来到底会发生什么事儿。


Toto did not like it.不译成“托托可不喜欢这样”,是因为:谁会喜欢被旋风吹上天空,在漆黑一团中摇摇晃晃的?应该指的是小狗托托对当时的处境感到恐惧、难受而惊慌失措,所以才乱跑乱叫;既与他平常的高高兴兴、嬉戏打闹相对比,又与小女孩的安静相对照。But在这里是并列连词,表示两相对照,原文用分号,故译成“”。

2、(第六章)

 All this time Dorothy and her companions had been walking through the thick woods. The road was still paved with yellow brick, but these were much covered by dried branches and dead leaves from the trees, and the walking was not at all good.

There were few birds in this part of the forest, for birds love the open country where there is plenty of sunshine.But now and then there came a deep growl from some wild animal hidden among the trees. These sounds made the little girl's heart beat fast, for she did not know what made them; but Toto knew, and he walked close to Dorothy's side, and did not even bark in return.

 这一阵子,  陶乐熙和同伴们一直穿行于浓密的树林中,路依旧是黄砖路,却盖满了树上掉下的枯枝败叶,走起来一点儿也不顺畅。

   这一带几乎听不见鸟叫,因为鸟儿们喜欢阳光充足的开阔地带,却时不时听见低沉的嚎叫声,那是藏在树丛中的某种野兽发出的。这些声音,使小女孩的心怦怦直跳,因为她不知道这是什么野兽发出的;但是托托知道那是什么声音,于是紧紧地挨在小女孩身旁轻轻走着,而且还不敢用叫声去回应。


There were few birds若译成“几乎没有鸟儿”,那是客观的叙述,而“几乎听不见鸟叫”则是身临其境的感受,是“几乎没有鸟儿”的具体表达;再者,but连接的是growl,but是并列连词,连接性质相同或类似的事物。在这浓密阴暗的树林中,没有那种(令人愉悦的)声音(鸟叫),却有这种(令人恐惧的)声音(猛兽的嚎叫),为狮子的出场烘托气氛。But连接的是两种声音,两种声音当然代表着两种动物。

参较:

A          树林里几乎见不到鸟儿,因为鸟儿喜欢阳光明媚的露天旷野;但是不时地传来躲在树后面的野兽低沉的吼声。

B          树林里的这一片没有什么鸟儿,因为鸟儿喜欢阳光充足的、空旷的地方。可是时不时地传来一声低沉的咆哮,仿佛是藏在树林里的某种野兽发出来的。

3(第十五章)

    "But isn't everything here green?" asked Dorothy.

    "No more than in any other city," replied Oz; "but when you wear green spectacles, why of course everything you see looks green to you. The Emerald City was built a great many years ago, for I was a young man when the balloon brought me here, and I am a very old man now. But my  people have worn green glasses on their eyes so long that most of them

think it really is an Emerald City, and it certainly is a beautiful place, abounding in jewels and precious metals, and every good thing that is needed to make one happy. I have been good to the people, and they like me; but ever since this Palace was built, I have shut myself  up and would not see any of them.

   “可是,这儿的一切不都是绿色的吗?”陶乐熙问。

   和其他城市一样,并不都是绿色的,”奥兹答道;“但是,当你戴上了绿眼镜,你所看到的一切,当然都是绿色的。翡翠城修建于很多很多年以前,我乘坐气球来的时候,还是一个年轻人,而现在我已经很老了。但是人们戴上绿眼镜已经很久很久了,大多数人都认为,这真的是一座翡翠城,盛产金银珠宝,以及幸福生活所需要的一切好东西。我待百姓仁慈善良,他们也敬畏我;但是,自从这座宫殿建成后,我就把自己关在里面,不愿见任何人了。


no more···than···意为“与······一样不······”not more··· than···意为“不比······更······”,

参较:

A, 跟任何别的城市一样,并不是绿色的奥兹答道

B,并不比别的城市更绿,奥兹回答。

若严格按照no more···than···句型,A译可能是正确的;然而并不符合本书中的实际情况。

请看第十章,此时他们尚未进入翡翠城,还没戴上绿色眼镜:

The next morning, as soon as the sun was up, they started on their way, and soon saw a beautiful green glow in the sky just before them.

"That must be the Emerald City," said Dorothy.

 As they walked on, the green glow became brighter and brighter, and it seemed that at last they were nearing the end of their travels. Yet it was afternoon before they came to the great wall that surrounded the City. It was high and thick and of a bright green color.

  第二天早上,太阳刚刚升起,他们就出发了;不久,就看见前面的天空,有一团瑰丽的绿光

  “那儿肯定是翡翠城了,”陶乐熙说。

   他们越往前走,那团绿光就越来越强烈,越来越耀眼,好像终于快到这次旅行的终点了。然而到了下午,他们才走到了那座城市的城墙跟前。城墙又高又厚,绿得发亮


再看第十二章,他们取下眼镜,出了翡翠城以后:

They thanked him and bade him good-bye, and turned toward the West, walking over fields of soft grass dotted here and there with daisies and buttercups. Dorothy still wore the pretty silk dress she had put on in the2 palace, but now, to her surprise, she found it was no longer green, but pure white. The ribbon around Toto's neck had also lost its green

color and was as white as Dorothy's dress.


   他们谢过门卫,向他道别;然后转身走向西方,走过柔软的草地;草丛中点缀着雏菊和毛茛草花。陶乐熙仍然穿着王宫里那件漂亮的长丝裙,可是现在她吃惊地发现:这裙子已经不再是绿色的,而是纯白色的;托托脖子上的丝带,也变成了与她的裙子一样的白色


在翡翠城里,因为戴着绿色眼镜,所以看一切东西都是绿色的,当时陶乐熙的裙子和托托脖子上的丝带也是绿色的;出城得取下眼镜,此时一看,这两件衣物当然是它们原来的颜色了。

但既然是翡翠城,到处都镶嵌着翡翠即绿宝石,且不说还有植物,这些难道不是绿色的吗?当然“和其他城市一样,并不都是绿色的。”意为:有些东西是绿色的,有些东西不是绿色的,翡翠城和其他城市都是这种情况。

况且,若把那个No more···than句型还原,即:

 

Everything here is no greener than in any other city.


Everything作主语,不正好是部分否定吗?


至于B译,就更不符合本书中的情况了。除翡翠城外,本书还提到东西南北四个国家,未具体说到北方,东西南三国人最喜爱的颜色分别为蓝、黄、红,他们的房子、服装及很多东西都分别是蓝、黄、红色的,只提到城堡,没提到这三国有什么城市,更没有像翡翠城那样镶嵌着许多绿宝石更何况翡翠城是书中提到的唯一一座城市,怎么可能并不比别的城市更绿,?

4、(第十一章)

Dorothy asked:

 "Have you seen Oz?"

 "Oh, no," returned the soldier; "I have never seen him. But I spoke to  him as he sat behind his screen and gave him your message. He said he will grant you an audience, if you so desire; but each one of you must enter his presence alone, and he will admit but one each day. Therefore, as you must remain in the Palace for several days, I will have you shown

to rooms where you may rest in comfort after your journey."

   陶乐熙问:

  “你见到奥兹了吗?”

  “哦,没有,”警卫回答;“我从没见过他。他坐在屏风后面,我向他报告你们的请求。他说,如果你们真的想见他,他会接见你们的;但是,你们只能一个一个地单独进去见他,他每天也只见一个。所以,你们只得在宫里呆几天了,

我这就派人给你们安排房间。走了那么长的路,好好地休息一下吧。

 

参较

A,领你们去几间屋子,你们可以在旅途之后好好休息休息。

B 想带你们去看看房间,你们路上辛苦了,得休息休息。


到底是“”领你们去看房间,还是“我派人”带你们去?

请接着看:

"Thank you," replied the girl; "that is very kind of Oz."

 The soldier now blew upon a green whistle, and at once a young girl, dressed in a pretty green silk gown, entered the room. She had lovely green hair and green eyes, and she bowed low before Dorothy as she said,

"Follow me and I will show you your room."


  “谢谢,”小女孩答道,“奥兹真好。”

   警卫吹响了一个绿色的哨子,一个年轻女孩立即走进了房间;她穿着漂亮的绿丝长裙,长着可爱的绿头发和绿眼睛。向陶乐熙深深地鞠了一躬,说道:

  请跟我来,到你的房间去。

5)(第十八章)

"This is the second time you have called us," said the Monkey King,  bowing before the little girl. "What do you wish?"

 "I want you to fly with me to Kansas," said Dorothy.

  But the Monkey King shook his head.

  "That cannot be done," he said. "We belong to this country alone, and cannot leave it. There has never been aWinged Monkey in Kansas yet, and  I suppose there never will be, for they don't belong there. We shall be glad to serve you in any way in our power, but we cannot cross the desert. Good-bye."

 And with another bow, the Monkey King spread his wings and flew away through the window, followed by all his band.

“这是第二次,您召唤我们,”猴王向小女孩鞠躬,说道,“想要我们做什么?”

   “带我回到堪萨斯,”陶乐熙说。

  但是猴王摇了摇头。

  这事儿可做不了,他说。我们只属于这片土地,离不开这里。从来没有一只飞猴到过堪萨斯;我想永远也不会有,因为我们不属于那儿。我们乐意为您做任何事,但我们没有能力越过沙漠。再见。”随着又一个鞠躬,猴王飞出窗外,群猴跟随而去。


笔者把原文的they译成“我们”,正因为我们飞猴不属于那儿,才没法把你带到那儿去。

请比较:

A这可办不到,他说,我们只属于这里,不能离开这里。从来没有一个飞猴到过堪萨斯,我看永远也不会有,因为他们不属于那里。······”

B那是办不到的,他说,我们只属于这个国家,不能离开这里。堪萨斯从来不曾有过带翅膀的猴子,我想以后也不会有,因为它们不属于那里。······”

 注:

A译引自:《绿野仙踪1》张建平,上海译文出版社20128月第一版。

B译引自:《绿野仙踪》马爱农,中国国际广播出版社20078月版。

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最后编辑于:2014-10-29 18:40
分类: 英语
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