20140728【佳译点评】 Life as a Tall Girl

汪德均 (老顽童) 译坛新宠
141 5 0
发表于:2014-07-28 23:18 [只看楼主] [划词开启]




       陈文伯先生是我素所敬仰的翻译名家,下面这篇佳译值得学习之处颇多。鄙人把学习该译作之心得公布于此,意在抛砖引玉,引起争鸣。不当之处,在所难免,祈望各位同学,亮出自己的观点。
 

                   Life as a Tall Girl

                 女孩个儿太高也烦

                                   陈文伯 译

    【原文标题并无倾向性,若严格按标题,当是《高个儿女孩的生活》;若从内容看,前面主要说个子太高带来的麻烦,后面不仅说了她如何克服这个不利因素,而且还发现并能利用个子高带来的有利因素;因而,此标题仅说不利因素,未免有些偏颇。愚见,最好译成《高个儿女孩的成长经历》】。


   Everywhere I go people stare at me. At the grocery store children gawk at me 
  wide-eyed, craning their necks and pointing as they tug their mothers’ shirts. 
  When I pass people on the street, I hear them mumble comments about my 
  appearance.
      无论我去哪儿人民都注视我。我去杂货店买东西,小孩会睁大眼睛昂起脖子望我,还扯母亲的衣角向我指指点点。我在街上从别人身旁走过时总会听见他们小声议论我的形象。
   【“人民”不知是否排版错误——“人们”之误?二、三两句甚佳:聊聊几笔,呼之欲出!】
  I am not deformed or handicapped, I’m not a circus attraction. I have 
  strawberry blonde hair and blue eyes. What makes me different is that I’m 

  6-foot-4, and I’m a woman.

    我既不生得畸形,也并不成残废。【最好改此句号为逗号,删掉下句的“我”字】我也不像马戏团小丑那样引人注目【“小丑那样”四字加得好】。我的头发是略带金黄的红色【strawberry blonde不译成“草莓金”,妙!】眼睛是碧蓝的。我之所以与众不同是因我的身高达6英尺4英寸(1.93)米【“我之所以与众不同是”比“使我不同的是”好,但若译成“我之所以引人注目”更好,还可以呼应“马戏团小丑”那一句】,而且是个女的。【and译为“而且”,妙哉!】

    My entire life has been influenced by the fact that I stand way above the 
  average height for both men and women. I was born two weeks late. When I 
  finally entered the world I weighed 11 pounds, 10 ounces and was 24 inches 
  long. When my mom told my grandmother my measurements, she asked in amazement, 
  “Are you okay?!”
      我长得不仅比一般女的高,而且比一般男的都高【妙!比“我的身高超过了一般的男女两性”好得多】,这一点影响了我一生。我晚出生了两周,最后出生时体重11磅10盎司(约5.3公斤),身长24英寸(约61厘米)。我母亲告诉我祖母我的称量时【measurements既指身高又指体重,而“称量”仅指“体重”,不如就用“身长体重”】,她很吃惊地问道:“你没事吧?”


  Shortly after my birth, my parents and doctors started to worry that there was 
  something wrong with me. From infancy though high school, my parents took me 
  to specialists for X-rays, blood and bone tests and ultrasounds to try to 
  discover the cause of my extreme height. In the end, however, I had no disease 
  or syndrome. My parents are 6-foot-3 and 5-foot-10, so I was simply the 
  extraordinary product of two tall individuals.
      我出生不久,父母和医生都开始担忧,觉得我不对劲,怕我发生问题【此六字可删】。从婴儿期到上中学,我父母带我找医学专家检查,作X光透视、验血验骨、作超声波测试,企图找出超高的原因,最终也无结果。我没病,也无病的症状。我父亲身高6英尺3英尺(1.91米),母亲5英尺10寸(1.78米)。我不过是两个高个子的特异产物而已。


  I was healthy, but incredibly shy as a child and into my teens. I’m from a 
  small town, and I grew up and graduated with the same 50 people. I started 
  playing basketball in third grade every Saturday, but I didn’t have any 
  control over my awkward, gangly body. (I didn’t even score a point in a game 
  until many years later.) I was 5-foot-10 in fourth grade. I had a small group 
  of friends in elementary school, but sometimes the boys picked on me, calling 
  me a bean pole or the Jolly Green Giant. I still remember my embarrassment 
  when they taunted me, and how badly I wanted to be invisible.
     我身体健康,孩童时特别羞怯,青少年时还是如此。我老家在一座小镇,我在那儿长大上学,毕业时同级一共50人【I grew up and graduated with the same 50 people.恐怕意为“同那50人一起入学,一起毕业”】。三年级时每周六都打篮球。我又高又瘦,动作笨拙,对这种身体状况我无法控制(参加篮球比赛我一分都得不到,这种状况多年后才有改观)。四年级时我身高5英尺10英寸,小学时我只有少数几个朋友,有时候男同学找我的茬儿,把我叫做“豆杆”(瘦高个儿)或“可笑的绿巨人”(广告牌上的画像),我不会忘记他们嘲笑我时我那窘相,恨不得一下子从地面消失【好一个“恨不得一下子从地面消失”!】。


  In high school I got more involved in sports, but I spent most days in the art 
  room. By this time everyone at my school was used to my height (by ninth grade 
  I was 6-foot-3), but if I went out of town people would gawk and comment about 
  my appearance. They acted like I couldn’t hear them.
 
    中学时我更多地参加体育运动,但大部分时间都在艺术教室度过。这时学校里人人都看惯了我的高个子(到了九年级我已经是6英尺3英寸了)。但如果出城去,人们还是会盯住我看,而且还品头论足,他们这样做就像我听不见他们的话一般。
     “Wow! That girl is tall!”
 “Oh my gosh! Look at that girl, she’s so tall.”
  I was forced into the spotlight wherever I went.
    “哇,那女孩好高的个儿!”
    “呀,老天!瞧那女孩,那么高。”
   不管去哪儿我都身不由己地成了议论的焦点。【本句遗貌取神,甚妙!比较:“无论去哪儿,我都被迫进入了聚光灯下。”——生硬】。
 


  With high school came more confidence. I had success in school, the arts and 
  sports. I played basketball, but my true passion was track and field. My 
  senior year I was the conference champion in high jump and the 400-meter run. 
  The friendships I gained through my involvement in high school boosted my 
  confidence and helped me develop a sense of humor. Now when a stranger told me 
  I was tall I would smile and nod or, if I was feeling feisty, I would feign 
  shock and thank them profusely for telling me. I had no idea!
      上中学的时候我的信心增强了。我的成绩优胜,艺术课和体育课都不错。我打篮球,但真正的兴趣还是田径运动。毕业那年无论是跳高还是400米短跑我都是学校体育联合会的冠军【“体育联合会”似应为“体育联赛”】。我在中学结交朋友,他们的友谊增强了我的信心,还让我培养出处事幽默感【宜删掉“处事”;不仅多余,而且“出、处”相连难听】。现在如有陌生人说我个子高,我就会对他笑笑、点点头;要是我为此感到不舒服,我就会假装吃了一惊,并连声感谢他告诉我这一事实,我自己还不知道呢【妙!】!


  Still, society keeps me aware of my status as a rarity. The retail industry 
  doesn’t exactly cater to a woman with a 37-inch inseam and size 14 feet. I 
  never dated, let alone kissed a guy until I was in college. And even though 
  people tell me I’m beautiful and I should be a model, there are times when I 
  would trade in my long legs for a petite frame and tiny feet.


   世人不断地让我意识到【此译甚佳】我是社会中异物这一身份【“异物”完全讲得通,考虑到原文用rarity,恐怕还是译为“珍稀物种”为佳】。零售商不会为一个女人提供裤管内缝达37英寸的衣服,也不会提供足长14英寸的鞋子【size 14 feet应为“穿14码鞋子的脚”;故此句应译为“也不会提供14码的女鞋”。此句意为“商店通常买不到适合我身材的服装与鞋袜”】。我从未和男孩约会,上大学以前从未与人接吻。尽管有人对我说我很漂亮,该当模特,但我仍不时有这样的念头,宁愿把我修长的腿去交换娇小的身躯和尖尖的小脚【宜删掉“尖尖的”】。
     【注:去冬今春之五个月间,我在美国西雅图至少逛了100多天大大小小的各种商场,所见女鞋货架上标出的最大号为size 11-13。美国鞋码,男、女、儿童各不相同。百度一下,自然清楚】
  I often wish people weren’t so rude. How can they act so unabashedly shocked 
  when they see someone who is different from them? And I’ve got it easy; I’m a 
  minority only in the sense of height. I can only imagine how those under the 
  burden of a group prejudice based on their race or religion must feel. I like 
  to think that those who have insulted me didn’t intend to. I do believe that 
  most people are basically good, but they can be insensitive.
 
      我常盼望人们在我面前别太粗鲁【“盼望”,妙!】。有人一见和他不一样的人便毫不掩饰地大为吃惊,怎能这样【此译甚佳!】?我现在也处之泰然【妙!】了。我只是因为身高的原因成为孤立的少数。我也能想象那些受到源自种族或宗教的群体偏见所压迫的人会有什么感受。我总是认为侮辱我的那些人并非故意,我相信大多人基本上是善良的,他们的行为可能也是无意识的【“行为”二字加得好!】。


  I have come to learn that my height can be used to my advantage. I’ll be 
  graduating from college with a journalism degree soon, and when I stand up and 
  ask a question, people listen. I’m a pretty decent high jumper, I can reach 
  things on tall shelves, and I have a conversation starter for every occasion.


  
       我逐渐认识到我的身高也有优越性【也可以是优势】。我不久就要从大学新闻系毕业,作为记者站起来提问时,人们会听我说【容易听我说】。我是个相当出色的跳高选手。我还可拿到架子上层的东西【妙!】。我在任何场合都能引发人们议论【容易发起交谈】。 


  Being a tall woman was hard for me growing up. But in the end, I think it has 
  made me a stronger individual. I’ve grown into my body, and I try my best to 
  wear all 76 inches of my height with pride, and take the awkward comments and 
  stares with poise.
    作为女性,个子高了成长就不容易【此译容易误解为个子太高吃穿费用过大;从全文看,意为”个子太高的确带来了一些烦恼“】。最终我还是认为个子高反而使我性格更强。我已经适应我的身体状况了【妙!】。我对自己76英寸(1.93米)的身高引以为荣,对那些让人尴尬的议论和注视一律泰然处之【妙】。
     In fact, sometimes I wear heels. Just to make them look twice.

     而且【妙!】,我有时还穿高跟鞋【我有时还故意穿穿高跟鞋】,就是为了让人回头再瞧一眼【妙!look twice若译成 “看两次”则兴味索然!】!


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最后编辑于:2014-10-30 17:52
分类: 爱翻大厅
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