李健弱爆了!英语老师才是真正的段子手!

发表于:2015-03-17 17:04 [只看楼主] [划词开启]

Top 4 wishes

To earn money without working.

To be smart without studying.

To love without being hurt.

To eat without getting fat.

四个最想实现的愿望

不劳而获;

不学无术;

相爱无伤;

狂吃不胖。

Whatever you do always give 100%! Unless you're donating blood.

做事情就要做到百分之百!除非你是在献血。

3

This is Sahara toilet, the biggest toilet in the world.

这是撒哈拉大厕所,世界上最大的厕所哦。

4

Probably the worst thing about being a penguin is after you're in an argument you'll try to waddle away angrily but still look adorably cute.

身为企鹅最可悲的一点也许是,

一场激烈的争吵后,

你迈着坚毅的步伐愤然离开,

而在别人眼中却是一个摇摇摆摆卖萌的小可爱。

5

I just feel so irrelephant...

我就是觉得自己风马牛不相及

Old people at weddings always poke me and say "You're next." So, I started doing the same thing to them at funeral.

老人们喜欢在婚礼上戳戳我,并对我说:“下一个就是你啦。”所以我开始在葬礼上以牙还牙。

Of course I am in shape! Round is a shape.

我当然很有型!胖也是一种形嘛。 

Strength is the ability to break chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands and eat just one of those pieces.

真正的勇士,就是可以徒手将巧克力掰成四瓣,却只吃其中一块。

Afraid to die alone?Become a bus driver.

害怕一个人孤单地死去?公交车司机是你的不二选择。

I'm just becoming a classic.

我不是一天天变老,只是越变越经典。

The Moon can't be a Jedi Knight because of its dark side.

月亮无法成为一名绝地武士是因为它的阴暗面。

I think the guy who invented ties was trying to commit suicide. Then he saw himself in the mirror And thought…"What,this look nice."

我认为发明领带的人其实打算自杀,

然后他在镜子里看见了自己的样子,

于是想到“等一下,这个看起来不错。

以上内容转自网络↑↑↑

最后编辑于:2015-03-17 17:05
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